Well it has been 8 months since I last wrote a review. I bet you are wondering what I have been doing all of this time. The short answer is nothing and the long answer is…also nothing, but with a few more words. As I sit in my room I have this urge to write a review, so brace yourself for an in depth look at the 1989 classic The Chilling. By the end of the 80’s the Golden Age of horror was coming to a close. Gone were the inventive and outrageous films young people had come to love, this was mostly to do with stricter rules imposed by the MPAA. The Chilling falls somewhere between classic 80’s horror and what was to become shitty 90’s horror. If you ask most fans of the genre we can all agree the only horrific part of the 90’s were the movies being produced. The plot of The Chilling is simple Universal Cryogenics is freezing people with the promise of reanimation in the distant future. However the director of the company has some sinister motives of his own. It turns out the body of the deceased are being harvested for organs rather then being put into suspended animation. The empty bodies are then wrapped in silver tin foil and placed inside the cryro chambers; giving family members the false impression their loved one can be resurrected. Oh did I also mention the bodies are embalmed with a special green liquid to prevent freezer burn? Well it’s an integral point to the plot. There is one more little piece of information I was supposed to tell you…hmmm, right! The Chilling is a zombie movie. Well we all know that there needs to be some type of event that raises the dead right? Now I have seen some farfetched ideas in horror movies but this could take the number one spot, assuming I never see another farfetched plot in a horror film. During a severe storm the power is knocked out at the cryo facility. This means the frozen meat sacks are slowly thawing out in their cryo tubes and there is no way to keep them cold. Or is there? One of the night security guards has the bright idea to put them out in the cold rain. So one by one the tubes are moved outside. I’ll be honest I was never brightest science student it just wasn’t my scene, but I do know that metal + lightning = fucked. So as the two guards try to fix the power lighting hits each off the tubes, remember the green liquid? Turns out that mixed with lightning turns the bodies into zombies! The best part of the zombies from The Chilling is that they were wrapped in tin foil, so when they finally break free they look like green space zombies. The space zombies start to run amuck and some cheep gore effects follow. I can assume that most of you by now think I didn’t like The Chilling…and you’re wrong. I actually really enjoyed it, sure the movie is terrible but it never tries to be something it’s not which is good. So grab a few drinks and friends and check out The Chilling! But if you still need more convincing Linda Blair stars as a young naïve assistant. I guess after the Exorcist her career went as far as a car with no wheels. But if that still isn’t enough of an incentive to watch The Chilling, then I don’t know why you bothered reading this entire review.
